Health can change at any time, and with rising rates of terminal illness, good health is never guaranteed. As more people face terminal illness, it can be an uncomfortable experience for someone who’s sick and continuing to work, and an uncertain time for people working with them. Show support to coworkers with terminal illness with thoughtful words, respect, and compassion.
The best actions to take to show support to a coworker depend on your personality and theirs, your relationship, the situation, and their perspective of their situation. There are several shows of support that are generally good options, but the right move is nuanced.
How To Support a Coworker with Terminal Illness
People facing terminal illness may continue working to maintain a sense of normalcy, preserve income, or keep company-provided health insurance for as long as possible. Other times, people may be eligible for leave, like the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), short- or long-term disability, or medical leave. In other instances, people may choose to stop working to focus on comfort and time with loved ones.
Whether you’re working with someone who’s ill or seeing them leave their job, you may choose to share kind words or show support in another way. You know your coworker best, so you may have an idea of what they would appreciate. If you’re unsure, check in with your boss to see if there are organized efforts to support them.
- Respect their privacy. They may not want to be approached with questions or overly emotional sentiments.
- Send a card or note expressing care.
- Ordering flowers or meals may be appropriate.
- Make a donation in their name, or contribute to fundraising to help cover treatment or regular expenses.
- Maybe they’d like an offer of support in the form of a ride to an appointment, mowing their lawn, running an errand, or walking their dog.
- At work, you can offer to take notes in a meeting they’ll miss or offer to cover manageable tasks.
- Be gracious if you’re asked to help cover their work. Everyone has limits and it’s not reasonable to do the job of two people, but if you’re asked to take on projects or tasks outside of your typical realm, seriously consider doing so.
What Not to Do
What actions not to take are just as important to consider as ways to offer support. The situation may be delicate, and you may feel like you’re walking on eggshells. In general, there are some things to avoid.
- Don’t give health advice. You’re probably not qualified and the person experiencing illness has probably already researched everything they can think of. However, if you know of a support group, it’s okay to share the information without expectation that they’ll join and without checking if they did.
- Avoid surprise visits, especially to their home, the hospital, or care centers. Many people don’t want their coworkers to see them in such a vulnerable time.
- Don’t gossip, speculate about their illness, make assumptions about their experience, or press for more information. Take what the person chooses to share at face value and accept that no one is entitled to information beyond what they choose to share.
Take Care of Yourself
It’s difficult to watch someone else suffer, and anticipatory grief is real. If you’ve never been through a situation like this or if past experience makes it particularly impactful, coping strategies may help. Nonprofits also offer assistance during hardship.
Company support may be available to you too through an employee assistance plan (EAP) or mental health coverage. Workplaces may also bring in temporary counseling. This support can help you manage your relationship with coworkers and move through the changes and challenges to come.
The most meaningful way to show support to a coworker facing terminal illness is through respect, compassion, and showing up in simple ways. Even small acts can help someone feel seen and cared for during an incredibly difficult time.
Disclaimer: The information provided is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. For specific advice, consult your physician or other qualified health provider.
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